i’m not happy with myself. i hate the way i look. and it doesn’t help when i get called fat either. especially since i have been having even more trouble with my weight than usual. im officially starting to run everyday i don’t have dance or a shit ton of school stuff to do. hopefully once i start running again i’ll drop weight fast. i need to get into shape for the show. i have 6 months to do it. i need to be in shape way before that though. hopefully by my birthday i’ll be somewhat okay with what i look like.
you need to stop being obsessive. its just plain creepy as shit now. before i thought you were just being sweet. now its ridiculous. i don’t like talking to you. i always end up in a bad mood because you annoy the shit out of me. calm your tits.
what the fuck is going on in your head right now. i’m really confused. some days i think one thing, then the other days you do something or say something that makes me think the complete opposite. it’s really not appreciated.
i’m so excited for christmas. my cousin is coming home from michigan and since i didn’t see him before he left and when he came for thanksgiving, this is going to be a great christmas. i miss him so much. i’m really happy.
i’m having major anxiety attacks lately. college letters aren’t helping. someone got into one of my top schools and i haven’t gotten a letter yet. i thought they needed midyear grades so i was’t worried but apparently they don’t. i don’t think i got in. and another college said i’d know soon but i still haven’t gotten my letter. and my top top school hasn’t even acknowledged that i sent my application so i’m freaking out about that too. so now my vocal chords are all messed up again because of anxiety. great.
